Random Sayings

Don’t suffer from insanity, enjoy it!

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

If you’ve nothing good to say talk to me!

Pink is a very masculine colour!

Five is a four-letter word!

Viagra is for wimps!

I’m not gay; I’m just testing my sexuality!

I want to die like my granddad, quiet and peaceful. Not like his passengers screaming and terrified!

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway!

I’m not insane, the voices in my head told me so!

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you diet!

Women don’t say their age, men don’t act theirs!

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system!

I miss my teddy, will you sleep with me!

You know what they say about men with big feet, big shoes!

Money can’t buy happiness, just sex!

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question, yes is the answer!

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional!

Don’t come knocking if the white vans rocking!

Women who seek equality with men lack ambition!

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

Been nowhere, seen nothing, still got the T-shirt!

How do you kill 2 birds with one stone, get a bigger rock!

Wanker is not an insult!

Wash often, look good, stay healthy, die anyway!

Good things come in small packages, so does poison!

Safe sex is in the palm of your hand!

Men are from earth, women are from earth, deal with it!

Were born cold, wet and naked, then life gets worse!

God thinks your great; everyone else thinks you’re an arsehole!

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative!

If practise makes perfect, and nobodies perfect, then why practise!

I used to be a schizo, were OK now!

Lying on my back, as usual!

No one dies a virgin, life screws us all!